so it gonna be a long post today, u can click [x] if u find u didnt like it.
so yup, i've been staying at home this wkend. was not in mood to go out at all and on the other hand i can help my mum whenever she needs help. so while i was surfing the internet, i found out a blog(the lady from nafa). she is rich, she is driving at mini cooper at our current age, she has tons and tons of gucci, lv, burberry, ect bags and stuffs. she has beautiful renovated room, big hses, new softwares/hardwares, filthy rich bf who changes car endlessly, everything brand new, fashionable and trendy. but she doesnt have a important character that we normal people who strive for our goals have, independency. thats what money cant buy. even though i've to do hsechores everyday and my hands are not beautiful, it doesnt matters to me. because one day when u feel like using ur bare hands to help ur mum she may never be with you. even when she leaves me, i know she is confident enough to know that im independent enough to do what i want to do and most importantly knowing that i will take gd care of myself.
for the greatest regrets in my life i shld say is i fail to do well in my o lvls. i've been performing really well in secondary days, but some how life changes during the period of time i stepped into a new relationship in secondary 5. i was so upset with my results that i cry in my rm myself each day. so yup, i didnt study as hard as i did and my result wasnt as idealistic as i thought it would be. everyone is disappointed, even my teachers. what upset me the most is my mum. i didn't have to pay so much just to study an interior sub. in fact it was all my fault for not listening to her then. my dream is to study architecture and now, im studying interior. but since i've chosen this path, i have to continue and i know in my yr3 i will definately be lack all the way behind. even though my parents dislike me taking art as a career, i just bravely bare with every comments they give me.
and if my furniture will to be exibited in this coming furniture exibition i hooe my friends and my love will be there and that will be enough! my parents or family has never ever appear for any of my exibition since i started my very first art exibiton in primary 1. i always hope to see them appearing in front of me but nope. my mum is a workholic, my daddy doesnt bother, my siblings were young then and are all busy with their current work. even when i won gold in any swimming competition or altheletic competition, i never fail to see 2 empty seats in front of me. i so i threw away every medals i receive because it is all so meaningless to me. my childhood friends tease me that im a orphan but i dun care. when i get top in class in secondary school, my parents say because academic class pple less intelligent so im able to get it easily. the second and third time i got first, i stayed at home whole day to wait for them. but they didnt even bother to ask abt my results. even though all this upsets me but its ok right, i have still walk this far :) so if i can make it for this exibiton, im happy enough to be chosen inside. even if im not im fine, because the others are like really really good man!
i hope there will be 'something' to pull me back once again. i fear for new challenges ahead of me. hmm..
